Tuesday, 25 September 2012

Love lives.

This year, I'll be celebrating my 5 year wedding anniversary.  How time flies.  I can't say enough good things about my marriage.  It's full of love and respect. There are certainly challenges (as there are in any healthy relationship) but the good totally outweigh the bad, and even the 'bad' is never ever that bad.  We're a perfect mix of emotional and logical (can you guess who is who?) and we don't have any of those groundhog problems -- you know, the issues that disappear into a hole and have the tendency to pop up again?  Yeah those.  We don't have those.

It's crazy to think that some marriages are already over by this point.  I have a friend that's my age that is already onto marriage #2 and the thought of that blows my mind.  On the other hand, I have friends that are still single and not even thinking about marriage.  And then there are the friends that are stuck in the 'it complicated' category, the people that are seemingly just getting married because it seems like the right thing to do, and the couples that just absolutely shouldn't be married (just split up already!)

Everybody's situation is so different from the next, and it's totally not my place to judge. Ultimately, I want everyone to be happy. Here are my thoughts on each of those situations (perhaps biased and/or ignorant and/or naive and/or all of the above):
  • Multiple marriages:  I support divorce when it is clearly for the best.  I'm weary of re-marrying so soon after a divorce, however.  The first one didn't work, the second one might, but what's the rush? You don't have to marry someone just to prove you love them.
  • Single: I'm all about waiting for the right person -- but you have to date in order to find them.  You can't complain about being alone if you're not willing to put yourself out there and meet someone.  If you hate the idea of dating, then get used to the idea of being single.  
  • It's complicated:  Maybe this means that you're in an unethical relationship or just not willing to commit.  Either way, you deserve so much better.  If you have to sneak around, you're probably not going to be together forever.  Find someone you can brag about to the world.
  • Forced marriage:  Argh.  If there's anything that hits home for me, it's this one.  The common situation is you get knocked up and now, getting married seems like the right thing to do.  Wait it out! You're stuck with this person no matter what, so what's the rush to get married?  I say, if you've discovered little things about them that you can't stand, those things don't magically disappear with the exchange of vows.  Make sure you can be with this person for life, regardless of the child.
  • Beyond fixable:  Dear God.  Why are you wasting your time?  When all you do is fight and call each other names, I think it's a sign that you really don't like each other. You're not doing anyone any favours by staying together - it's more detrimental to yourself and the people around you.  In fact, it's annoying.  
These are just my opinions.  After all, what do I know about 'finding the perfect partner' - mine kind of just landed in my lap (thank goodness!).

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